Life. is. but. a DREAM for the dead...
I own the greatest shirt….ever

I own the greatest shirt….ever

awwww-cute:

Swaddled, baby fruit bats!

awwww-cute:

Swaddled, baby fruit bats!

When you have a broken heart,
you drink an endless amount
of alcohol to numb yourself
and forget that you ever allowed
someone else to touch the birth
mark you’re self-conscious about,
you throw up on white walls,
you buy extra mouth wash,
and play the same song for hours,
until listening to their favorite band
doesn’t hurt anymore.

When you have a broken heart,
you smoke like a movie star
in the 1940’s, and shove mints
into your mouth to fool your
family and friends for one more
week; you eat fast food and pile
up dirty cups in your room,
and it feels like people can’t help
to remind you of those ashy fingernails.

When you have a broken heart,
you will do things that nobody in your life
will understand; you’ll lose control
of your body, and slowly shed the
person your became when you were
in love to embark on a new journey.

When you have a broken heart, Julian Budani (via youshouldacceptchaos)
IF YOU’RE COOL WITH GETTING A KINDA AWKWARD ASK RIGHT THIS SECOND AND PLAN ON ANSWERING IT IN ALL HONESTY REBLOG THIS PLEASE.
Feeling dapper :)

Feeling dapper :)

Deliciousness

Deliciousness

How did I get to this point? I look pregnant and bloated no matter how well I eat or how much I work out. I hate myself. I need help.

How did I get to this point? I look pregnant and bloated no matter how well I eat or how much I work out. I hate myself. I need help.

promisingly:

YES FAV BOOK

promisingly:

YES FAV BOOK

Fluff rice with a fork, never stir it with a spoon.
Vaseline is the best night time eye cream on the market.
You can buy alcohol and chips with your parents’ gas station credit cards.
If you force something, you’ll break it. That could be good or bad.
It’s important to read the care tags on your clothing and follow those instructions.
Related: don’t wash and dry j. crew wool sweaters.
Changing your car’s oil is not optional.
Whatever physical objects you acquire you will one day have to put into a box and move.
You’re allowed to disagree with negative feedback.
It’s always worth reading the instruction manual.
Nostalgia, like any drug, can be a poison or a remedy.
Pets are like human friends but better in every conceivable way.
Good doctors listen more than they talk.
You can’t fix a burned roux.
Floss.
Just because someone is an authority figure does not mean they are intelligent/competent/right.
Measure twice, cut once.
Get your nice jeans and dress pants tailored by a professional.
If you’re uncomfortable wearing it you will not look good.
You’re not required to drink alcohol while in a bar.
There are a few things that cure all ills: the beach, your favorite album on vinyl, and fresh garlic.
Kindness is not weakness.
Baking soda is not baking powder.
Taking Excedrin P.M. while still in public is not advisable.
Terrible people will succeed. Wonderful people will fail. The world is not fair.
Appropriate footwear is always key.
You can absolutely be too forgiving.
Real humor punches up, not down.
Reading the assigned chapters will actually help you learn the material.
There are no adults. Everyone is as clueless as you are.
Applying eyeliner well is a timeless art.
You can always leave. Awkward dates, suffocating jobs, hometowns that you outgrow, relationships that aren’t growing in the right direction.
You can always come home again.
But it won’t be the same.
Life is too short for bad books, boring movies, shitty people, and margarine.
Never underestimate the importance of eyebrows.